(Not) A Beautiful Mess
by a1y-puff
Summary: Lavi claims himself to be Bookman. Allen alternates between being himself and Neah. Kanda would press Mugen against Allen's neck when that happens. Lenalee doesn't like any of it.
1. Part 1 - Not a Beautiful Mess

**Title:** (Not) A Beautiful Mess

**Fandom: **DGM

**Characters:** Kanda, Lavi, Allen-Neah, Lenalee

**Rating:** T

**Beta-reader:** Baniita

**Summary: **Lavi claims himself to be Bookman. Allen alternates between being himself and Neah. Kanda would press Mugen against Allen's neck when that happens. Lenalee doesn't like any of it.

**ETA: **Adjusted the last part because now we know Neah's surname is Campbell.

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**~ (Not) A Beautiful Mess ~**

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When the redhead looks up from the parchment he's been writing on, his single eye catches the sight of Yuu Kanda, looking as regal as ever, if not more.

"Why, if it isn't the new general. To what do I owe this honor, General Kanda?"

Kanda visibly frowns, gives him a long, hard stare, and says, "The fuck is wrong with you, Rabbit?"

"Of course," he chuckles without humor. "You've been away, so you probably haven't heard."

"What?"

He gives a smile, a microscopic one that doesn't quite reach his eye, and says, "I'm the Bookman now."

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"We never really found out what happened to him and Bookman, ever since they were stated to be missing. Just recently, he came back, alone, and—claimed that now he's Bookman," Lenalee starts her explanation as they sit in a secluded corner of the library. Far enough to be out of Lavi's hearing range, and yet still be able to observe him from a distance. "He's spent most of his time here."

"He was captured by the Noahs, wasn't he? Those guys don't really know what mercy is."

Something in the way Walker talks makes Lenalee flinch. Kanda understands her reaction. Kanda, at least, had enough time to watch the transition—on how it was once Neah took over Allen's body and Allen fought for his body back, how he used to press the edge of Mugen to Neah's neck until he went away and Allen returned, until one day, they make somewhat of a truce and Kanda started to have a hard time telling where Allen ends and Neah begins.

Kanda looks at Lenalee's worried eyes, at her fidgeting hands and the distance she puts between herself and Walker. Notices the way she steals uncertain glances at Walker's darker complexion, at his mismatched eyes—silver on the left and golden on the right—and at Walker's lack of effort to put on a disarming smile like he would have done in the past.

Walker notices it too, and lets out a chuckle. "I don't bite, _Lenalee_," he drawls, and as habit dictates, Mugen is readily pressed at his neck. "Not with Kanda keeping his sword pressed against me," he says with his smile turning more genuine, trying to reassure her.

Kanda eyes Walker sharply, searching through the mismatched orbs of silver and gold, then lowers Mugen and slides it back into its sheath at his hip—belatedly noticing the horror reflected in Lenalee's eyes.

"Don't worry, Lenalee," Walker says in a much more familiar tone to their ears. "This," he emphasizes by pointing his thumb at Kanda's general direction, "is the reason why I can still walk freely instead of being restrained in a dungeon, you see."

"…how can you say that so lightly?" Lenalee asks in a voice so weak the boys have to strain their ears to hear it. "I don't like this. First, Lavi has been acting weird, and now you two—" she pauses to let out the sobs that have been choking her. "What's happened to us?"

It is a simple question that neither of them has the answer to.

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"So which one are you? Allen Walker? Neah D. _Campbell?_" The _Bookman _asks with barely-disguised interest as he writes—whatever it is he has been writing on the parchment.

Kanda looks up from the book he's reading. This is the first time Kanda has heard of Neah's last name.

"Are you writing my biography? The history of the Fourteenth Noah?" the question is mocking, and when Kanda glances aside, the expression on Walker's face is colder. "I see you've done your homework, _Bookman._"

There it is again: the glint in that lone, green eye. Walker—specifically, _Neah_, Kanda's sure it's the Noah speaking now—notices it too. And apparently like the idiot that he is, feels the need to taunt. He leans forward across the table separating them, closing the distance between him and Lavi and whispers in his ear, "Are you really ready to be a Bookman?"

Kanda's hand moves on reflex, pressing Mugen to Walker's neck as he gives a menacing glare. "Get back here," Kanda commands, dark eyes meeting cold, calculating mismatched orbs. Then, he adds, "Allen."

Something shifts in those eyes. Walker's still close to Lavi but now his eyes are warring with Kanda's, with Mugen still pressed against his neck. Lavi's single eye moves between him and Kanda, observing and—

Lenalee pounds the table, _hard.  
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"Enough," she starts, effectively drawing two pairs of eyes—and a single green eye in her direction. She glares at the three of them. "Kanda, put Mugen away! _Allen, _get back in your seat!" Walker slowly moves back and returns to sit beside Kanda, who sheathes his sword with a fond smirk aimed at Lenalee.

"And you!" she turns to Lavi, who looks more surprised at her outburst than he really should, and—she reaches out from her position next to him, placing her hands on both sides of his face, stares into his eye and says, "You're _Lavi_."

When Lavi burst out laughing, followed by Walker's silent chuckle and Lenalee's hard sobs, Kanda thinks, _'this is such a fucking mess'_.

But he knows they'll get around, somehow.

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**~ NeverEnding ~**

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**This was originally written for a 10-day challenge I did with Nherizu and Salmonelagogo. The idea came out of nowhere and I kinda want to play with this universe a bit more when I have the chance :)**

**Comments would be looooved!**


	2. Part 0 - By the Windowsill

Notes: Pretty sure this would deviate from the current development, but oh well. I based this from Kanda's statement on chapter 210 here and here and of course, the reason he agreed to become a general in chapter 217. Takes place before the first part of "(Not) a Beautiful Mess" and somewhere in the near future of the current ark, I suppose. First published in June 2, 2014. - By the Windowsill -

Kanda has always been a light sleeper. Being _born_ to be a soldier as he was, he has never had the luxury of a deep sleep. The closest he can get is when he's meditating, but this time around, he doesn't get to meditate a lot.

Tonight, he wakes up to the cool night breeze coming from the recently opened window. Kanda's eyes snap open and find the other bed in the room to be empty. Immediately on guard, his right hand readily grabs Mugen by his bed.

"Relax," says the low voice which is both familiar and foreign to his ear, "I'm not going to run away. I made a promise, remember?"

Relaxing his tense muscles, Kanda snorts and pushes himself to a sitting position. The bed creaks with his movement, but otherwise, the room is silent. Kanda closes his eyes for a moment and then opens them, hand moving to pull his disheveled hair out of his face. Momentarily he's distracted by the visions of Lotus flower, blooming all over the place.

He stares at them, at their fragile beauty, and blinks his eyes a few times. He looks up, and is immediately greeted by the form of—_Walker_—sitting on the wooden chair by the open window.

"And I should trust you because?"

Walker turns his head—his darker complexion looks even more so in the dim light. Mismatched eyes gleam in the dark. He gives Kanda a smile, one that is even worse than the one the Beansprout used to wear—the one he had more than once claimed he hated so much. "Because I'm still here, aren't I?"

Kanda exhales, then pushes himself off the bed. He walks over to Walker, Mugen ready in hand. Just in case.

"You're not going anywhere near me without Mugen are you?" the tone is light, amused, and yet there is a hint of pain somewhere. Kanda would recognize it. He's seen—heard, smell, _felt_—pain a lot of times during his short, second life. Yet this time, it is a relief that he detects it. It's the proof that the Beansprout is still _here,_ despite the darkened skin and golden right eye.

"I'm not going _anywhere_ without Mugen," he replies instead, choosing not to antagonize his companion so much, like how he could have done.

He pulls a chair across of Walker, separated by a small round table adorned with a single flower in a vase. Silence descends upon them, and if Kanda doesn't remember where he is, _who_ he is with, he would probably let sleep claims him once more.

"It's great that we get to stay in nice places now that you're a general," Walkers starts conversationally, still looking out of the window. "I wonder how the Central would like, knowing they're actually spending money to shelter and feed me."

"They call it supervision," Kanda simply answers. He's kind of glad Johny isn't in this room. He's always put Johny in a separate room, for his own safety. Johny wasn't really happy with the arrangement, at first, but he did understand why Kanda and Walk—_Allen_ decided that way.

"And now you're the watchdog they assigned to me," Walker lets out a chuckle, like this whole situation is funny.

"I'm not here on their orders."

"Why am I not surprised?" Walker smiles, turning to see him with those mismatched eyes Kanda still finds unsettling. Even after the promise. Even after that deal they made—between himself and Allen and _Neah_. "You became a General so you could continue to stalk me. Oh, _Yuu_, I never knew you cared," Walker fucking _drawled_—something the Beansprout would've never done before—which is his cue to unsheathe Mugen and press it against the skin of the other male's neck.

"I'm here to fucking kill you when the time comes," his voice is as hard as steel, eyes boring into gold and silver—because that is his promise—his part of the deal. It was the reason he took up his innocence once more—why he traded the freedom _Allen _Walker had given him, so he could return the favor. _That_ is his reason to go on.

Walker stares back, and Kanda watches as walled-up emotions danced in those eyes, warring against each other even as the man in front of him returns his hard stare equally. Then, those eyes soften, and a soft smile graced his lips. "Of course," Walker—the _Beasprout_ replies as he raises his left hand to slowly maneuver Mugen away from his neck.

Kanda lowers his sword, and—that's when he noticed a piece of photograph laying on the table. He raises an eyebrow when his eyes make out the figures in the portrait.

It's the photo Johny had brought with him when they went to search for Allen, the one with the bean and a guy from the science dept, Timothy, and Link.

"I used to look like that."

Kanda looks up at the wistful tone, finding Walker eyeing the photograph with gentle, sad eyes. This is _Allen_ talking now, isn't it?

His dark eyes traces the figure in the photograph—of a boy with soft smile and bright, bright eyes—and then he compares it to the man sitting across of him, with dark skin, mismatched eyes and detached face which would alternate between expressions he's so familiar with and dark, foreign looks.

"Does it matter now?" he finally says, effectively drawing his companion's eyes on him. He uses the opportunity to look Walker in the eyes, searching—and _finding_ the boy he had come to know so well, even if he doesn't want to. He can see the conflicting emotions in Walker's face, and adds, for good measures, "Beansprout."

Walker stares for a moment, snorts and lets out an annoyingly familiar smirk which makes Kanda want to wipe it off of his stupid face.

"It's _Allen_, BaKanda."

Kanda smirks back, then throws his gaze out of the window to the dark, starless sky.

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Uhm. Yes, it's been a while. thank you all for still supporting me despite my lack of presence in this site :")

Regarding two of my (still) incomplete stories:

1) The Walk - I have written a few more parts for the next installment so yes it would be updated soon-ish. Probably next month?

2) Days Passing By - I still plan to continue. Yeah. I'm so sorryyyy. I have a deadline for my published book, which is already overdue, so. After I'm done with it, I will focus on finishing this one. :(

Thanks again for your continuous support and please do leave a word or two. :)


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